FOR THE TIMES, THEY ARE.....

It finally happened. The conversation I knew would come eventually.

My Irish Catholic Grandfather got on the other end of the line: "Happy Birthday!" in his most enthusiastic geriatric.

Pleasantries were exchanged.

Then, "So, you're heading into middle age now..."

For the record, I just turned 29, and the average life expectancy of men in the "Western World" is 73. I digress.

"So, you're heading into middle age now. When are you going to settle down and stop with all this film stuff. You don't want to be having kids when you're 50".

He's probably right about the last part, I mean, who wants to be changing baby nappies while a nurse changes yours? The majority of his points though, I just can't stomach.

When is the right time to let go of your dreams and start procreating?

Aren't we over populated? Most certainly.

Are we perhaps over-populated with people who want to be "filmmakers"? Probably.

Either way, he may have a point. But he is making the case to the 90% who place stability over chasing the life they want. The real estate over the raconteur.

Then again, how long is too long? Willie Nelson didn't have hist first hit until he was 51.

Grandpa may be right. But not about me.

__________________________

P.S. I was flicking through an old notebook, as you do when you get a year older, and thought I would share something I found scratched on a page in my barely legible handwriting. I think it was my attempt at an opening line for a stand-up comedy routine:

“I have a good friend named Walt. He grew up in a naval family. He’s a deaf mute but he speaks using semaphore. I like him but I hate it when he talks during the movie.”

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GREAT EXPECTATIONS

I am an Australian, which means different things to different audiences.

Australia has many elements it holds proudly, and just as many that give us a bad case of self-consciousness.

Interestingly, the arts continue to be considered one of our weak points.

Not that we don't have exceptional artists, but our national appetite for our own work is low at best. These days, it's commonly known as our "cultural cringe".

Our own stories aren't interesting enough for us. The Australian accent, so popular throughout the world, in our films makes us uncomfortable.

But are we being too hard on ourselves? Has our rapid growth and success in certain areas...cough....sport....cough.....given us unrealistic expectations of ourselves?

Often the wisest words come from the unlikeliest places, like a bearded lady. In my case, last week I was on my way to a preview of Hairspray the Musical (sidenote: it's brilliant by the way) chatting with a taxi driver who had immigrated from Bangladesh a number of years ago.

His take on Australia sheds a lot of light on the root cause of our cultural cringe. For him, he said, it was a matter of ego vs reality.

In Australia, our pride makes us suggest we are an advanced developed nation. We deserve to be players on the world stage!!!! This is despite us having only around 200 years of history as compared to the hundreds (and thousands) in Europe, Asia and the Middle East.

My Taxi driver's suggestion, over a large wry smile and an even bigger moustache, is that all the evidence suggests we are a DEVELOPING nation.

Our public transport and infrastructure is slowly catching up; our economy is based on mineral commodities; as recently as 10/15 years ago we were having 'national identity' discussions; we are way behind the developed world on broadband and technology infrastructure; we were insulated from the financial crisis in part by the relatively low penetration of modern large transnational financial institutions; and we struggle to develop a sustainable arts sector due to the slow pace of embracing broader tenets of cultural achievement beyond sport.

Sound developed to you?

Perhaps we need to take a deep breath. Perhaps part of success is realising that it takes time to develop a cultural palette and therefore an industry to service it.

Perhaps we should just focus on producing good work and realising that the audience is there, with money to spend, and they will come. But only if it's good.

Perhaps we should relax and focus more on reality rather than our ego.

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A 3D MOVIE WARPED MY BRAIN

I read something interesting today about the limits of human imagination. The writer was mulling over whether Airbus' proposed "see-through" plane of the future was a good idea. Just because we imagine it, he said, does that mean we should build it?

My first thought was: "I hope The Mile High Club gets disbanded".

Technology today means imagination no longer has to just live in our heads. Superheroes are real! At least on screen, anyway.

The imaginary world seems to coexist with ours. All it needs is time, we are told, for the real world to catch up.

It left me pondering the "responsibility" debates of the future. It seems like only a blink ago that Marilyn Manson's music was being blamed for the Columbine High School Massacre. If sound can inspire such arbitrary savagery, what about the hyper clarity of blue-ray, 3D media or the eventual 'immersive holographic entertainment'?

And the reality show craze, creating a generation of people famous because they're...famous.

Could we be warping the supple minds of the future?

In the superhero world, for example, the most famous heroes have their powers bestowed by some sort of awful accident or tragedy: Spiderman was bitten by a radioactive spider; Batman's entire family was murdered in front of him; The Hulk was a scientist named Bruce Banner, exposed to Gamma Radiation from an atomic blast; and Superman's planet exploded. You know, everyday stuff.

I have wondered how would the great Superheroes have really ended up in the real world:

"Peter Parker, a mild mannered photographer is bitten by a radioactive spider...the resulting wound becomes horribly infected and eventually gangrenous, leading to amputation...."

"Bruce Banner, a US Army scientist, is suddenly caught in the wake of an American atomic test. The resulting Gamma radiation infuses his DNA....resulting in a number of tumors which become inoperable. He was 41."

"In the wake of last night's unexpected meteor shower, police have discovered a large impact crater in a cornfield in Smallville, USA. The meteor appears to have been destroyed on impact, with the only remnants discovered being a charred scrap of red fabric with what looks like an "S" on it....."

You get the point.

With what modern technology in movies and TV can accomplish, the imaginary is closer to looking "real" than ever. Just ask Robert Pattinson, who gets Twilight fans begging him to bite them. The debate will come, one day, where creators will have to argue whether they have a duty of care to the fragile minds in the world.

Someone, someday, will argue that a "3D movie made me do it".

At the same time, a conservative politician will blame videogames, music and/or movies for turning this person into a ruthless criminal. "Just because you can imagine it", he or she will say, "doesn't mean you should make it."

Should we just be telling stories, or making something that elevates the perception of our audience?

I honestly don't have an answer but, then again, I did always want to be Batman.

THE LAST WORD ON AMERICA

Leaving America is like leaving a bio-dome.

While you are there, the only news you hear is American. It is so large and diverse that it generates its own news 24/7. At the same time as there are Tornadoes in middle America, there is a fine art exhibition on the East Coast, a cholera outbreak in the South and a celebrity filled movie premiere in the West.

This all happens within the space of a day and more news develops constantly, all within their own borders.

As an outsider, I felt cut-off from the globe, but for Americans, it explains to some degree why they are blissfully unaware of the world around them. That enduring statistic is still true: in 2011, only between 20-30% (depending on where you get your figures) of Americans have a passport. In other words, if you were in a room with five Americans, only 1 of them is likely to have ever seen outside their own borders.

It is a truly unique experience, being in a first-world country which is the human equivalent of a fishbowl.

For example, I was chatting to a cab driver in NY, hoping that by empathising with me as a person, he might think about driving in a manner less likely to end in my death. It didn't work, but life is like that sometimes. I survived, however, and was struck by one particular part of the conversation. We were talking about American politics and Economics, and he was utterly surprised at how aware I was of the domestic political situation in the US of A. When I asked him what he knew of recent major events in Australia, his answer was hilarious and sad at the same time.

His example of a major event in recent Australian history? The death of The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin.

So, for any filmmakers, distributors, or even actors out there looking to appeal to 'The American Mainstream' remember: 4 of the 5 Americans in that room are unlikely to share your worldly, non-American, perspective.

Why else do you think Mel Gibson ended up with an American accent?

AMERICA

This is a little later than usual, but I am still on my jaunt overseas. It has given me some tidbits to share.

NY is an interesting place. LA is downright strange.

America is full of Americans, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Overall, the experience has been so varied, so I am really not sure what I think of the USA.

They are capable of so much and so little at the same time, e.g. they can find a single person in a world of billions, yet they can't master basic world geography.

They are obsessed with pretense, yet can produce some of the world's greatest thinkers and scientists (google Jonas Salk)

Is it dumb luck? Is it a numbers game? One in a milion here creates 250 to 300 'special' people after all.

After talking with quite a few of them, in a variety of random situations, I realised that the key to understanding Americans is the idea of the 'Niche'

Americans are not about breadth of understanding. They are about 'depth', that is, deep focus and understanding on a single (or very few) subject. Talk to an American and they will bamboozle you with words that show how little they know about things generally. But hit on their niche subject and they will tell you EVERYTHING about it, with a richness and depth of detail that seems beyond belief.

On a normal hot day in LA last week, I had a conversation with a guy who led me, inexorably, to the conclusion that he was missing one (or more) chromosomes. But when the conversation inevitably turned to the comic book universe, his pupils widened and he spoke with detail that even a savant would struggle with. He even knew about how certain storylines in the comic book world were an allegory for events in the real world. When this part of the conversation finished, however, the familiar glaze returned and he went back to using phrases like "Y'now ya?"

I realized then, that for those of us trying to tell stories that have appeal in America (and can therefore sell - it is the biggest film market in the world, after all) you need to be extremely skillful in your craft, in order to tell a story that appears to be simpler than it is. Americans need a high concept story that fits their niche, in order to appeal to their singular focus. That doesn't mean it can't have more layers, but in the end the story needs to be about...well....the story, not the social point you are trying to make. That's not to say that you can't make your indie gem and sell it in the North American Territory. But it will be difficult, and your story telling skills will need to be razor sharp to make sure it has enough of that overarching story 'niche' to make them see it.

Think I am over-intellectualising? Look up: Xmen (racism), and The Matrix (corruption in 'the system'). Even Pirates of the Caribbean (the corrupted empire/accepting who you are), had these elements. If I'm wrong then why is Johnny Depp's character the good guy; the one we sympathize with?

According to www.the-numbers.com (worldwide totals in $US):

XMen - $334,627,820
XMen Origins: Wolverine - $374,825,760
XMen: The Last Stand - $459,359,555

The Matrix - $460,279,930
The Matrix Reloaded - $738,576,929
The Matrix Revolutions - $424,259,759

Pirates of The Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl - $653,211,224
Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - $1,060,615,812
Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - $960,996,492

Determine your high concept. Know your craft. Preach in the subtext only.

Find the niche.

CUSTOMER SERVICE

I love good customer service.

It makes you feel like a VIP, even when it is just a few less pickles on your cheeseburger. You ask for something different from the masses, and you get it. With a smile.

We all know the opposite. When someone treats you like a faceless, nameless whine at the other end of a telephone.

On a related note, I am writing this from my desk in Sydney, though I should be sitting in LA. Tired, but in LA none the less. United Airlines called me on Friday to let me know that my Saturday flight had been cancelled and rescheduled 24 hours later. They gave only one reason: "adverse weather".

I looked outside at a beautiful May day.

I am no expert on planes, but blue skies, no storms and no wind seems fairly benign. I never did finish that degree in aeronautical engineering, though.

Their response to this point is not worth repeating, safe to say I got a very clear brush off. So I called our travel agent. Another brush off. You see, travel is a 'defer responsibility' culture these days. Why else do you think there are so many travel insurance agencies?

I was left thinking, have they forgotten who keeps them employed?

It reminded me of a Director who asked a question at a Michael Hague seminar I attended. Hague was talking about his experiences providing High Concept script consulting for the big players at the major Hollywood studios. The Director felt compelled to pipe up:

"Does this mean that to use your High Concept method I have to make American-type movies?"

Hague answered it wasn't about being American, but about your story having enough universal appeal to reach the largest possible audience. A diplomatic answer, but an answer all the same. She replied:

"Well that's not the type of movies I want to make"

The audience grumbled their disapproval, but it's a point that I still think about. Is she right?

In Australia, I have heard this same point made by a number Filmmakers. The usual statement is: "I make movies for me".

It begs the question, should an artist create something in response to the will of the mob? Or will the mob follow the artist?

The answer really depends on you. Can you innovate within the paradigm? Can you reinvent the paradigm altogether? Either way is a path to success. More importantly, either way you can keep sight of your "customers", whether they exist today or when they flock to you when they realise how good your work is.

For me, I only know how I felt when United talked to me like a noise that needed to be turned down. I also know I will never fly United again, if I have a choice.

So, the one rule I am sure of is: lose sight of your audience at your peril.

SHOW ME THE MONEY!!

Government Budget announcement time just finished in Australia.

The time of year when everyone has their hand out has come and passed. Wayne Swan broke a glass, Tony Abbott delivered another incomprehensible tirade about nothing in particular, and Julia Gillard delivered a speech in her most stirring rendition of Kath (from the "Kath and Kim Show") yet. The world moved on.

An interesting update came into my inbox, however:

http://www.screenaustralia.gov.au/news_and_events/2011/mr_110510_budget.aspx

It explains in great detail, the lowering of the qualifying level for the Producer Offset; the new direct cash incentive for low-budget documentaries and the expansion of items which account as qualifying expenditure (the wonderfully titled 'QUAPE'); among other things.

What does this have to do with you?

The answer (even if you are a filmmaker) is: very little.

And that is exactly the point. Something has disappeared in our society. Everything has become so granular.

Nobody talks about vision, direction or future anymore. They talk about micro-level tax incentives.

The only people who talk about the future are the ones trying to sell you something. The only ones who have a vision are the people developing new consumer technologies or thinking about how many shekels you will have when you retire.

The already established players care about this announcement. Hell, their powerful lobbying made it happen. But we don't get to play in their sandbox. The rest of us are left begging for change from the people we used to call "leaders".

I'm not saying that these tax incentives don't help people get their film projects off the ground, but if your entire business model is based on handouts from the government, you are in the welfare business, not the film business.

Nobody talks about constructively about the future anymore, least of all the ones who shape it: the storytellers.

Except you. Right?

AN ALTERNATIVE THEORY OF CREATION

Many years ago, in an office block far far away from here, a non-specific, non-demoninational deity who went by the name God (but was also known as Allah around the office) had just finished compiling his weekly reports for his boss, Zues. By 10am God had completely finished all his work for the day, and was now meandering around the office looking for something to entertain him. Buddha, his colleague, was in the staff kitchen as always. God gave him a polite nod on the way to the kettle, made a cup of generic brand tea, and returned to his desk to while away the rest of his day.

By 10:07, God had completely run out of ideas on how to maintain interest, and possibly consciousness, for the rest of the day. Luckily, he had completely finished his tea and the liquid had swiftly made its way down to his bladder.

As God relieved himself in the office men's room, he realised exactly how filthy the toilet cubicle was, and made up his mind to report it to the facilities manager. He read some dirty limericks scribbled onto the wall above the toilet roll holder, and gave a purile smirk at an obscene yet utterly comical doodling on the back of the door.

As he squeezed off the last few drops, he concentrated a little harder to push out his customary fart. Suddenly, at the height of his concentration, a lightning bolt shot out of the end of his 'ahem' and made a direct hit on the toilet bowl in front of him. After a moment to reclaim his senses, a quite stunned God leaned over and looked into the toilet bowl.

Apparently, the sudden jolt of electricity had catalysed whatever microbes were swirling around in.....well...you know. The result was a kind of instant primordial soup (for the soul).

God stood amazed as tiny creatures began to form and multiply. They swam around in the primordial soup, looking at each other and asking poignant questions like - "what am I?" and "Why am I here?".

God stood in awe, admiring his marvellous creations.

His creations looked up in reverence and gratitude for their omnipresent and benevolent creator.

After seven minutes, God realised he had to be back at his desk or Zeus might notice his absence. Buddha would probably tell on him. He was always making trouble.

God looked down one last time on his creations, flushed, and never gave it a second thought.

Just to put things in context.

SPOT THE BARBARIANS.....

The events that have unfolded in the last twenty-four hours have cast a horrible light on us as a civilisation.

I am just sad. Not for him, but for the world.

We have reduced ourselves to the masses, baying for blood. Like the Romans at the Colosseum, cheering the burning Catholics.

He was a psychopath, and he earned the consequences of the life he lead. But what have WE lost in this war on terror and what does it mean that we call killing someone an "achievement". How did we lose our way so badly?

Insetad of celebrating, could we not just acknowledge the chance for the wounded to heal and turn the page? Show our dignity instead of our barbarism?

The whole thing plays out as a tragedy to me. And everyone loses.

OAFILMS NEWS - New project....

And it even has a Facebook page...

.....http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/The-Good-Neighbour/131722040230896

PRODUCING...PRODUCING...EATING...PRODUCING....

The last six months have gone like a FLASH as I keep myself involved in some really interesting and high quality projects.

Producing one short is work enough, but then I am also co-producing another and gearing up in the production of a $20K funded short - with a fantastic script!

Time goes quickly, that's for sure, but I'm still smelling the roses. Every once in a while anyway.

OAFILMS NEWS - CHASING MEL won't be silenced!

Chasing Mel screened in the SKANC FILM FESTIVAL, in St Kilda, on the 4th February 2010. I thought that would be the last time.

I am big enough to admit I was wrong.

Apparently, someone in Victoria liked it, and the film has now made the final on the 25th February 2010!!

I couldn't make it for the last screening, but I'll be going for this one. A good start to the year, no doubt.

OAFILMS NEWS - Chasing Mel's retirement and my new project

The end of 2009 has been crazy!

Chasing Mel had its penultimate screening at the Coasties Film Festival, and its last festival screening (at this point, anyway) in the Boo Hoo films competition final. It didn't win, but was very well received.

My latest film 'Untitled at a Bus Stop' had its first screening this week. Again, it was very well received and will get a bit more of a polish before I start sending it to festivals.

I have three other projects planned at this stage - a first cut of a short I recently shot called 'De-Sensitised', a short script about the consequences of a lothario lifestyle, and a first cut of a 30 minute documentary on Indonesia (from 42 hours of raw footage!). That should keep me busy for the next couple of months.

Thanks to all who have made 2009 a special year. It has been rewarding, challenging, heartbreaking, inspiring, sorrowful and joyful. I have learned, been burnt to the ground and rose from the ashes.

All my usual supporters have been there, doing the subtle things that make them the amazing people that I love so dearly; I have lost one person who took a piece of my heart with them, forever; and I have made new friends and connections that I will take with me forever.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Bring on 2010.

OAFILMS NEWS - Chasing Mel screened in the Czech Republic!

Chasing Mel was selected and screened at the 9th Pisek Film Festival in the Czech Republic. I wonder if my jokes translate from sarcastic Australian to Czech?

OAFILMS NEWS - Chasing Mel in Competition!

Chasing Mel will be screening in competition at Boo Hoo Films! The audience will vote on the best films on the night and the winner goes through to the final in November.

The screening starts at 7am on Monday 31 August at Madam Fling Flongs in Newtown. All ae welcome, as long as they vote for me....

For more details, go to http://www.boohoofilms.com.au/

OAFILMS NEWS - Chasing Mel has an IMDB Page!

After it was considered for a festival in the U.S., Chasing Mel was granted its own webpage on the world's most trafficked movie site - IMDB.com!

Check it out on http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1463134/

or go to IMDB.com and search for 'Chasing Mel'

OAFILMS NEWS - Chasing Mel keeps screening!

Chasing Mel has had another successful screening, after being officially selected for the 'Katoomba Short Film Festival' and the 'Caught Short Shorts Festival' at the TAP Gallery in Darlinghurst.

The crowd response at Katoomba was terrific and I am getting ready for the TAP screening this Thursday, 2nd July.

I will be answering questions in a filmmaker Q and A on the night at the TAP Gallery. For more info, go to http://www.filmcaughtshort.com/?m=200906

WHAT'S NEXT?

Well.....maybe not.

It has been hectic of late, but I am loving it. My next projects are:
- 1st Assistant Director on a 16mm short titled 'A Flaw In Perfection'. We have shot 3 days and have 1 more day to go.
- Writing a short film script (working title: 'Dead Man Walking')
- Miscellaneous helper (editor? story consultant? fluffer?) on my talented friend Mark Tipple's documentary on Indonesian poverty.
- Writer/co-director with my uber-skilled pal Chino on an untitled short film.

That should keep me busy for the next few months at least.

Chasing Mel Screening - 23rd May 2009

Chasing Mel screened at the Newtown Film Festival to a majority unbiased crowd (i.e. minority friends and family). I was a nervous wreck before hand, but the crowd reaction was brilliant! They laughed in the right places and in a few I didn't expect.

I didn't win the 'audience favourite' award for my session, but I was not overly bothered given the crowd was STACKED with the people who featured in a particular documentary. I was pleasantly surprised, however, that, during the voting, one of my friends overheard the following conversation:

Person 1: "Finished your vote form?"
Person 2: "Not yet. I know I am supposed to vote for our one, but I really liked that Mel Gibson one"

I am sure that person would have eventually voted for the other film. The moral is, if I made one person second-guess their guaranteed vote for a friend, I must be doing something right.

Thanks to my friends and family who came along, it was very special with you there.

Chasing Mel in Newtown Flicks 2009

I have entered 'Chasing Mel' into the Newtown Flicks Film Festival 2009. It will have a screening at the new theatre in Newtown on either the 22nd, 23rd or 24th of May 2009. One of the judges is Academy Award winning writer and director Bruce Beresford. Here's hoping he likes documentaries about stalking celebrities.

For more details visit the festival website at http://www.newtownflicks.com.au